Wednesday 20 April 2016

The Daily Fungus. Barbie's Party.


The Daily Fungus

Barbie throws one hell of a party!

By J.E. Hanley    20th April 2016

Barbie was at the centre of controversy at the weekend when she aimed a string of abuse towards Madonna, Cher and Miss Berta, all who had attended her launch of her new doll, Bitch Barbie. The evening started off well with her posing with celebrities, which included Molly Mushroom and Mrs Overall, but ended with Barbie slapping a party goer and performing the infamous Ping-Pong game widely performed in exotic nightclubs in Blackpool. At this point the crowd were seen to be ducking out the way for fear of being hit. One reliable source stated that she was very scared indeed. ‘It all happened so quickly. One minute she was slapping my friend across the face and the next she had her legs wide open popping out balls like nobody’s business. I tried to hide for cover but got hit in the face several times. It was very forceful!’                                     

Barbie later got so drunk that she was unable to get up on the stage and was helped up by Molly Mushroom and her friend, Okei. By the time she had given a slurred presentation about her new doll, that secretes human bodily functions, she had tripped into the crowd and was sick all over Kim Kardashian. Kim later posted a selfie of it on twitter and every other conceivable social network outlet. The controversy did not end there with Barbie lashing out at Billy Ray Cyrus and then pulling down Madonna’s knickers. Barbie was papped wearing them on her head and later flicking them at Ken Dodd, which got stuck in his teeth.

A spokesman for Madonna made this statement earlier today: ‘We are currently trying to find out exactly what happened at the launch of Bitch Barbie and the whereabouts of Madonna’s knickers. There will be a search warrant at every attendee’s home including Madonna’s. These were her lucky pair of knickers and she hopes that they will be found in their original state. We are treating this as a very serious incident and the consequences will be high to the person or persons found guilty.’

 
Barbie’s spokesman informed the fans that Barbie is currently doing well at home, after collapsing in a drunken stupor, and cannot remember a thing about the evening except for performing a sex act on Ken. Bitch Barbie is currently on sale in all good retailers.